something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

yeah

It Will Get Lighter

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

autonomy of learning

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

1

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

hiding from the rain

Picture

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

I am below everything.

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

so the method has to be autonomous

Today I felt like starting

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation