with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41


There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

One of the birds shoots out of the tree. 

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Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

but i respect your search

no longer writing in the third person

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

autonomy of learning

Style

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

so the method has to be autonomous

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

all that is to say

Better Lift

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate