it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
"Put a blanket."
no longer writing in the third person
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
I am below everything.
somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
Today I felt like starting
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
so at the end
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate
we want to live the knowledge too live the content
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.much more tactility
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation