ahnaf is it worth reading all those books


Rain, starting

Today I felt like starting

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful


the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

really i want the internet

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

It Will Get Lighter

yes

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

currently

in a post. I want to be remembered

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

Lift Analysis

13, H, grate

so an active mazelike process

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine