division of reality is straying away from it

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

and the fake qualifier

no like which do people call me

all that is to say

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

whats your name?


no longer writing in the third person

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

i was tempted to lie about my name

which magnetises chains of pins

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike


The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

ahnaf abrar

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.

  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
part of an old note. It will get lighter.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.