yes

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with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

but really the thing should be autonomous

Today I felt like starting

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

"Put a blanket."

brb i will read and reply sincerely

kind of mythopoesis

Lift Analysis

Rain, starting

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch