with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
Today I felt like starting
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
hiding from the rain
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17