nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry
class
Slug
i did until you asked which kind of gave it away
Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?
I'm sat out the front of a cafe in Hatton Garden. I've just eaten a brie and
bacon panini, and I'm rolling a cigarette. Feeling very London. An old man
comes up to me and asks for a roll-up. I oblige.
and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging
I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to
identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by
50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a
stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along
to some creative studio.
confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with
it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.
part of an old note. It will get lighter.
I Write Goodbye Letter
Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But
like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it
recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare
seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.
Pimlico Rats
Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the
dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh
meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.
2 (actually index). two is company
yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf
He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building.
He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.
no like which do people call me
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
A roll of 50s
is one of the
items he dumps onto my table during the search. Of course it is. He asks if I'm a delivery boy or a setter or this or that diamond related job. I keep saying no, I'm enjoying hearing all of these new words. Eventually I tell him that
I work in film, which is kind of true. He asks where I'm filming. I'm not filming. He tells me that I can't be that good at it then. He then tells me that he made a film once, in the 80s. It was called Pimlico Rats.
bro i read nothing in my life
There is a pretty persistent ambient hate in England, a lot of people say vile
shit about Muslims or immigrants or whatever, but in my experience most people
aren't actual white supremacists. They have a black friend who they get a beer
with. One of the good ones. Etc.