ahnaf abrar
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Better Lift
⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️
lol yea
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
December 2025
that looks like my instagram account
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
send link
magnetises a pin
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
but i respect your search
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
so the method has to be autonomous
in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books