They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

yes

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

but i respect your search

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

this will be about a slug

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

autonomy of learning

I am below everything.

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

we can only engage in such a way

i hope ai fixes this with the cessation of interfaces and walls

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03