I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by 50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along to some creative studio.
or never left
bro i read nothing in my life
send your tumblr
The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.
was it worth it
no i haven't really read anything
i was tempted to lie about my name
like magnets
i have read not even 1 book
its good
i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine
like first name
way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it
abrar?
December 2025
...
He was a proper old-fashioned London geezer (cringe word, hate it, can't think of a better one, worst of all it's the correct word), kind of East Endy, kind of Real London, the kind you don't really meet but if you do it always feels like an uncanny immersive theatre experience. They're anachronistic. They only belong in the London collectively imagined by people who don't spend any time in it.
was it worth it
magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you
The only real Londoner remaining is old, bitter, kept around for entertainment, defined by tropes from 30+ years ago. They play gangsters in films, or they work in a pie and mash shop, or they go on Business Insider's YouTube channel to tell you about their crimes. And they somehow still find the time to spend all day hanging about cafes and pubs for you to bump into, to remind you of Real London.
hello reader,
we need to be deconstructing our identities
The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This actor had scored a minor role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.
He was cast as the guy who gets picked up and thrown out of the poker game to set the scene before the main characters arrive. Out of Real London and into real London, a discarded prop, at this party, chatting to me.
wait what is that
magnetises a pin
Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
fw
i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then