"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

what do you think my name is

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

ahnaf abrar

its performative

i was tempted to lie about my name

all that is to say

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

fw

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

But seriously, thank you, Jack

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

much more tactility

magnetisation/form