part of an old note. It will get lighter.

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

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Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

Thank you, Jack

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

It Will Get Lighter

in a post. I want to be remembered

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

and the fake qualifier

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

not their contents

propensity within someone

you cannot feed someone truth

barren land

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class