I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

god "possessing" artists "possessing" people

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

December 2025

i really havent

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

and the fake qualifier

But seriously, thank you, Jack, for telling me that I could submit this to a high-level literary magazine or creative nonfiction outlet with some minor tweaks. I don't think I will do that.

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

we need to be deconstructing our identities

i understand

2 (actually index). two is company

...

its good

i love it here

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

bro i read nothing in my life

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

was it worth it

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️

whats your name?

Thank you, Jack

hello reader,

lol yea

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

the site i am dreaming

which magnetises chains of pins

barren land

isaac

isaac newton

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) is emptying his pockets, searching for the silver rizlas he apparently has. He refuses to take one of mine (also silver) because the tobacco I'm giving him is already too much to ask. He tells me about the guy who can do 50g of Golden Virginia for a good price, the guy who every other man over 50 knows. I'm not interested.

feel you

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.