the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
currently
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
hiding from the rain
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
it is hopeful
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting