yes
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.