After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean
colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the
party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees.
We aren't aware of that.
I'm sat out the front of a cafe in Hatton Garden. I've just eaten a brie and
bacon panini, and I'm rolling a cigarette. Feeling very London. An old man
comes up to me and asks for a roll-up. I oblige.
It Will Get Lighter
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
13, H, grate
FOUNDING DOCUMENT
Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events
organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin
bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before.
They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
Pimlico Rats
we need to be deconstructing our identities
in a post. I want to be remembered
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are
not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off
board but you seemed interesting
i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i
didn’t watch it then