My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

it is hopeful

13, H, grate


It Will Get Lighter

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

brb i will read and reply sincerely

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting


much more tactility

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

...

It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

Lift Analysis

Style

He was cast as the guy who gets picked up and thrown out of the poker game to set the scene before the main characters arrive. Out of Real London and into real London, a discarded prop, at this party, chatting to me.