i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

"Put a blanket."

Rain, starting

was it worth it

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever


It Will Get Lighter

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.


I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

IWGD

currently

wait what is that

feel you

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

It Will Get Lighter


Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.