lol yea

Rain, starting

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

I am below everything.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

It's

dusk

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

wait what is that

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt