Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

in a post. I want to be remembered

I am below everything.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Rain, starting

1

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

no longer writing in the third person

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

abrar?

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mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

its performative

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me