its performative

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

no longer writing in the third person

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Rain, starting

in a post. I want to be remembered


so the method has to be autonomous


you cannot feed someone truth

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

Today I felt like starting

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

was it worth it

and the fake qualifier

i really havent
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

all that is to say

There is a pretty persistent ambient hate in England, a lot of people say vile shit about Muslims or immigrants or whatever, but in my experience most people aren't actual white supremacists. They have a black friend who they get a beer with. One of the good ones. Etc.

i really havent


One of the birds shoots out of the tree.