The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

it is hopeful

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

Picture

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

so at the end

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

Worse Lift

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

magnetisation/form

I am below everything.