it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Rain, starting

i really havent

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

feel you

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

the site i am dreaming

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

i was tempted to lie about my name

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

i love it here

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

like first name

its performative

yeah

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

but really the thing should be autonomous

is this you as well

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

i want to do that too


yeah

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

i really havent