She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
"Put a blanket."
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
I am below everything.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
Today I felt like starting
hiding from the rain
your feed looks like my tumblr