confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

no longer writing in the third person

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Can I see

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

Today I felt like starting

Better Lift

Picture

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

hiding from the rain

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.