ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

or never left

what do you mean

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

like first name

its good

ahnaf abrar

no i haven't really read anything

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

...

ion

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

division of reality is straying away from it

was it worth it

the site i am dreaming

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

but i respect your search

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

i have read not even 1 book

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.