that looks like my instagram account

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

It Will Get Lighter

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then


i want to do that too

Thank you, Jack


something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes. The conversation drifts to the pleasantness of warm lighting and whether anyone needs a smart home. I interrupt her to make a joke about the French Raj as he runs up the causeway. We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.



My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.



I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before. They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.

no longer writing in the third person

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch