We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Today I felt like starting
so at the end
i am quite illiterate on producing technology
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
you have a beautiful account btw
autonomy of learning
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
like first name
idk
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
i was tempted to lie about my name
feel you
thank you
its good