The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."
no longer writing in the third person
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
really i want the internet
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine
you cannot feed someone truth
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it
propensity within someone
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation
Windrush Art Kid Oligarch
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
it is hopeful
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
you have a beautiful account btw
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
brb i will read and reply sincerely