And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

IWGD

autonomy of learning

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

currently

it is hopeful

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

so the method has to be autonomous

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

brb i will read and reply sincerely

all that is to say

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.