somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
much more tactility
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.
as in
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
in a post. I want to be remembered
I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
but i respect your search
autonomy of learning
or never left
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.
A procession forms behind the French Raj and his fireworks bearer as they head out the door. I've lost my Korean colleague / fresh meat in the chaos. I'm sure he'll be able to fend for himself. They have mandatory military service in Korea.
After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.
barren land
so the method has to be autonomous
no i haven't really read anything
feel you
okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models