something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.like first name
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
but i respect your search
Better Lift
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
feel you
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.
thank you
what do you think my name is
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
its good
but really the thing should be autonomous
i love it here