I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.no longer writing in the third person
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
I am below everything.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
we need to be deconstructing our identities
what do you think my name is
The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This actor had scored a minor role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
i was tempted to lie about my name
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
which magnetises chains of pins
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
yeah
i want to do that too
bro i read nothing in my life
it is hopeful