The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."

Today I felt like starting

1

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

It Will Get Lighter

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

currently

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

division of reality is straying away from it

Lift Analysis

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

as in

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

its performative

Better Lift

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

13, H, grate

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

I am below everything.

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me