Today I felt like starting

really i want the internet

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

hiding from the rain

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

no longer writing in the third person

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

Rain, starting

yes

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

so an active mazelike process

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

13, H, grate

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

all that is to say