is everyoneback on tumblr now

i was tempted to lie about my name

ahnaf abrar

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

magnetises a pin

what do you think my name is

Slug

feel you

we need to be deconstructing our identities

or never left

send link

ion

...

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

Pimlico Rats

have you read

is this you as well

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

no like which do people call me

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

barren land

that looks like my instagram account

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by 50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along to some creative studio.

Actual born-Londoners aren't LARPing like this, they sold their shite family home for a million pounds and moved to Malaga years ago. They have their culture and they've taken it elsewhere.

the site i am dreaming

lol yea

The only real Londoner remaining is old, bitter, kept around for entertainment, defined by tropes from 30+ years ago. They play gangsters in films, or they work in a pie and mash shop, or they go on Business Insider's YouTube channel to tell you about their crimes. And they somehow still find the time to spend all day hanging about cafes and pubs for you to bump into, to remind you of Real London.

December 2025

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

13, H, grate

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.