There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

...

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

...

we need to be deconstructing our identities

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This actor had scored a minor role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.

feel you

It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

It Will Get Lighter

it is hopeful

Better Lift

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

Worse Lift

the site i am dreaming

It Will Get Lighter

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

ahnaf abrar

i love it here

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

is this you as well

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities