Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

so at the end

so the method has to be autonomous

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

feel you

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

i want to do that too

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

It Will Get Lighter

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

like first name