really i want the internet
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
hiding from the rain
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
Better Lift
currently
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
it is hopeful
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models
its performative
not their contents
isaac