"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

yes

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

but really the thing should be autonomous

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

is this you as well

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

god being the centre magnet

ion

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience. 

        13       |
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so at the end

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

"Put a blanket."

lol yea

Can I see

theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine