confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

currently

Lift Analysis

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.


After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.

not so on: yvf(wthw)

Worse Lift

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before. They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

It Will Get Lighter


hiding from the rain

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

As I'm trying to tell my Korean colleague / fresh meat that this is abnormal, that most people in England aren't like this, the host of the party emerges from the bathroom to a roar of laughter and applause. He's a fat middle aged Frenchman and he's changed into traditional Indian dress and a turban. He looks fucking ridiculous. I try to back away, to avoid the inevitable photo of me in this moment that will one day appear to ruin my life, but everyone is crowding around, trapping me in the middle of it.

sorry i am texting like a slav

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03