Better Lift

Today I felt like starting

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

is this you as well

so the method has to be autonomous

lol

so an active mazelike process

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

much more tactility

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

13, H, grate

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

idk

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

autonomy of learning

wait what is that

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

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i am quite illiterate on producing technology

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.