no longer writing in the third person
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
autonomy of learning
division of reality is straying away from it
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
Lift Analysis
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given
we can only engage in such a way
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
I am below everything.
so the method has to be autonomous
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
Can I see
there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.