Worse Lift
Above and in front two birds are darting in
and out of a
tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't
really make it out in the low light. It's just after dusk, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but
want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm
not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way
of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel
kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
Picture
1
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
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Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
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Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
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Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
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The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
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Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems
annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder
where it goes in the day.
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen.
I go inside.
2 (actually index). two is company
It Will Get Lighter
I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we
watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the
bank.
We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.
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