the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

i love it here

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

but really the thing should be autonomous

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

December 2025

propensity within someone

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet