it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
yeah
hiding from the rain
no longer writing in the third person
it is hopeful
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
Today I felt like starting
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
or never left
i was tempted to lie about my name
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
i have read not even 1 book
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
i love it here
i understand
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet