confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with
it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.
I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we
watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the
bank.
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks
for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty
cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.
He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building.
He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and
impulsively.
how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the
excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
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Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
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The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
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Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
we can only engage in such a way
amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off
board but you seemed interesting
so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged
something religious, a kind of complex, it will get
lighter, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.
you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak
bro i read nothing in my life