Thank you, Jack

so an active mazelike process

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

but really the thing should be autonomous

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

i see a website

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

magnetises a pin

but i respect your search

ahnaf abrar

hiding from the rain

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

is this you as well

autonomy of learning

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

It Will Get Lighter