"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

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but i respect your search

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

have you read

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Picture

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

no longer writing in the third person

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

and the fake qualifier

Thank you, Jack

division of reality is straying away from it

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

was it worth it

so at the end

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.